It's About Time For An UPDATE!!!

I thought it was about time for an update!  It's been a while, but after my nerves got the best of me I had to step back and take a break.  Before I continue with some news about the baby, I want to wish everybody a fantastic holiday season filled with a whole lot of joy, love and good times! 

Since my last post I received two sets of scans.  The latest set came last Wednesday at eighteen weeks and four days. 
 

The baby is still measuring small, but I decided to let the following e-mail put me at ease.   

Dear Craig,

We hope you are doing well.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done USG scan for your surrogate mother.

Please find attached her scan report.

We are happy to inform you that Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports and noted that every parameters are within normal limit.

As per our discussion with the obstetrician team baby is growing well and doing fine.

Your surrogate mother is also progressing well.

Please note that her next scan will be done within one month.

We will keep you updated with her further progress and new status.

With Regards,
Neha
SCI Healthcare

At almost twenty weeks now it's hard not to get excited.  I should receive the 3D scans and the Triple Marker test results before long, so a lot will be happening in the next few weeks.        

Many happy thoughts and warm wishes to all of the new births, as well as to those of you who are just starting out or continuing on with your journeys.  Also, to those of you who have been blessed with children and continue to share your stories as your families grow.  Happy Holidays!!! 
     

All of the Menorahs were burning bright when I celebrated Hanukkah with my family and friends.

                     

Seriously...  Enough with the pictures!  I just want to play with my gifts.

12 Weeks

I received the twelve week (11 week and 6 day) scan this past Friday.  The ultrasound is remarkably clear, and I could be wrong but I believe that the dot in front of the baby's face is part of a tiny arm and a hand.  You can see the baby waving and smiling in the image to the right. ;)  Dr. Jolly's report says that his or her heart is beating at 152Bpm. 
  
The scan to the left and Dr. Jolly's report also indicate that the baby's fetal growth is at ten weeks and one day.  I know that is twelve days behind the actual gestational age of the baby.  The report before this one also put the baby close to two weeks behind his or her gestational age, so at that time I e-mailed Dr. Shivani and asked if everything was okay.  Dr. Shivani told me a scan can be plus or minus two weeks and not to worry.  She said that she checked with Dr. Jolly too and he said everything was fine. 

At this point I'm staying focused on the positive words and communications from Dr. Shivani and others at the clinic:)  I know that I have said this before, but it is something that comes to mind more and more frequently with each passing day - so of course I need to write about it.  I knew that trust was an important part of this process when I signed on, but as the process has moved forward I have come to realize that trust and faith in my doctor and clinic is everything in a process that takes place so far from home. 

And when I look at the images below I can't help but have faith in my decisions and the path that I have taken this far.  I believe that the least that a person can do is to figure out what they hope for.  And the most that a person can do is to live right inside of that hope and do something about it.

Finally, I'm a person who likes to live and enjoy each day to it's fullest, but come on time - hurry up a little! ;)

One final note - It would be wrong to end this page of my blog without thanking all of the people who supported me through my loss.  I haven't had a chance to thank everyone but the kind comments, e-mails and calls are appreciated.  Facing this journey as a single man can be tough at times, so support from those who understand or try to understand is genuinely appreciated.

So watch this space because I'm looking very forward to receiving my next update from the clinic.  That should happen in about nine more days, but who's counting:)!!  
 

Sadness & Hope

When I started my surrogacy diary I promised myself that no matter what I would keep an open, honest and complete account of my journey to surrogacy in India.  I knew very well that there would be the possibility that I would write about loss.  I thought that I was prepared for it and I didn't realize how hard it would be.

Now that it actually has happened I have come to realize that I had no idea how hard it would be.  The pain of the loss is difficult, and the fear of loosing the second baby is insurmountable.  

After the babies heartbeats were confirmed I was very happy.  I knew there was a chance of miscarriage, especially so early in the pregnancies, but I decided not to worry and did a good job of staying very positive. 

I felt very lucky, especially because of the low HCG numbers at the beginning of the pregnancies.  Heartbeats were detected at 7 weeks, a week later than I had expected, but they were strong and everything looked very good.  The next scans would be done within two weeks, at nine weeks - so I was excited. 

Per the obstetricians advice, the scans ended up getting delayed until one day before 10 weeks gestation.  I had a bad feeling and it was a difficult week.  It was harder than I imagined waiting could ever be.  I found out at the end of the week that one of the babies heartbeats had stopped.  There were no other signs that anything was wrong, but when Munni went in for her scan the baby had no heartbeat.  I am thankful for what Munni tried to do for me and my thoughts will always be with her.  The baby measured at 7 weeks 6 days gestation. 

The sadness of the loss is still with me, but my fear for the second baby is even greater.  I don't know if that's how I'm supposed to feel, but it's how I feel all the same. 

I was in touch with Dr. Shivani and she told me that Neha and the baby were fine.  The clinic also sent me an e-mail saying that they were happy to let me know that everything was on schedule with Neha and her pregnancy, and that she was taking care of her pregnancy very well.  

I wish I could get on a plane and go see Neha, but I guess that's not an option.  So it seems that sticking to my original plan - going with my heart and having trust in Dr. Shivani and those working with her is what I will do.  I should get the 12 week scan results this week, so lets keep everything crossed for good news and continued good news throughout the pregnancy.  

HEARTBEATS:)

I received the scan results last week and both of the twin-singletons are doing very well.  Heartbeats have been confirmed at 110 Bpm and 112 Bpm.  I am very happy and excited to say the least.

I know that it's only the first trimester.  Believe me when I say that I have been reminded of this too many times.  I have to say that people (including those who truly love you) should stop and think about what they are saying before they say it.  The fact is that sometimes the best thing one can do is to just be happy!!!

Twin 1:           

Dear Craig,

Congratulations...!!!  

We hope you are doing fine.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done USG scan for Munni to check the heartbeat.

Kindly find the enclosed report for the same.

We are very happy to inform you that a single heartbeat has been seen during the scan.

Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports and found everything fine with her scan report.

In view of the same her next scan will be done within two weeks.

We will keep you updated with further progress & new status.

With Best Regards,

Yogita

SCI Healthcare

Dr. Jolly's report says that there is a well-defined gestational sack containing a single live embryo.  The CRL measures 2mm which corresponds to five weeks and five days.  The heart rate is 110 beats per minute.  The Yolk sack is normal and no free fluid is seen.  

You can't see much in the ultrasound yet except that the pregnancy sac is getting larger.  However, judging by what I've seen on other peoples blogs, I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more of twin #1 in the next scan. 

Twin 2:

Dear Craig, 

Congratulations...!!!

We hope you are doing fine.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done USG scan for Neha to check the heartbeat.

Kindly find the enclosed report for the same.

We are very happy to inform you that a single heartbeat has been seen during the scan.

Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports and found everything fine with her scan report.

Heartbeat scan is a big milestone in this journey and we are happy to note that Neha has passed the same.

In view of the same her next scan will be done within two weeks.

We will keep you updated with further progress & new status.

With Best Regards,

Yogita

SCI Healthcare

Dr. Jolly's report again says that there is a well-defined gestational sack containing a single live embryo.  The CRL measures 5mm which corresponds to five weeks and six days. The heart rate for twin two is 112 beats per minute.  The Yolk sack is normal and no free fluid is seen.   

Again, I know that you can't see much yet in the scan, but I think I'll be able to see more of twin #2 in the next scan as well - so I'm excited.

I received both ultrasounds eight days ago so I'll be getting the new scan results in less than a week.  I know... lazy blogger:)  Actually last weekend I was working on getting all of my students interim grades completed because it is already the middle of the first marking period!  And the further along the 2012 -2013 school year goes, the further along the pregnancies are - so it's all good:) 

And finally, I read a fantastic article that is posted on the Heffernan's blog (ourfamilymiracleinindia.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/our surrogate-mothers), as well as on the SCI blog  (drshivanisachdevgourdelhi.blogspot.com).   

The article, A Surrogates Perspective - Giving Priceless Happiness "shows the other side of surrogacy, from the surrogate's perspective."
 
After I read the article I immediately starting thinking about the two amazing women who are carrying my children.  For some time I have referred to them as "M" and "N"  because I thought that it was the proper thing to do.  After reading the article I knew that I wanted to find out how Munni and Neha felt so I contacted Dr. Shivani.  It turns out that when the subject was discussed with them, both surrogate mothers were happy for me to use their names.  

I know (being a public blog) it's only a first name, but I think that calling Munni and Neha by their name (instead of a letter) is meaningful.

PREGNANT!!!

I got some awesome news from SCI.   Pregnant X2...  WOOHOO!!!

The clinic continues to be very well organized with excellent communication skills, which is highly appreciated on this end:)  The first e-mail was fantastic, and by the time I finished reading the second e-mail I was overjoyed.  I am one happy guy!

Dear Craig,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare!!!!

We hope you are doing fine.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done USG scan for "N" to check the pregnancy sac.

Kindly find the enclosed report for the same.

We are happy to inform you that a pregnancy sac has been seen during her scan.

Dr. Shivani has reviewed the report and found everything within normal limit.

In view of the same, her next scan will be done in one week to check the heartbeats.

We will keep you updated with the further progress and new status.

With Best Regards,

Yogita

SCI Healthcare

 And then!

Dear Craig,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare..!!!

We hope you are doing fine.

We are happy to inform you that as per our schedule we have done "M's" USG scan to check the number of pregnancy sac.

We would like to congratulate you once again as Dr. Jolly has noted a single pregnancy sacs during her scan.

Dr. Shivani has reviewed the reports & found everything within normal limit.

Kindly note that her next scan will be done to check heartbeat and this scan will take place within one week.

Once it will be done, we will get back to you with reports immediately.

We will keep you up to date.

With Best Regards,

Yogita

SCI Healthcare

The ultrasounds were done four weeks after egg fertilization.  Dr. Jolly's report said that the ultrasound for "N" showed a well-defined gestational sac that measured 7mm, which corresponds to 4 weeks and 3 days.  The doctors ultrasound report for "M" showed a well-defined gestational sac that measured 3mm which corresponds to 4 weeks and 1 day.  

"M's" pregnancy sac is smaller, but Dr. Shivani reported everything to be within normal limits for both women.  I've come to realize that every pregnancy is not going to be exactly the same and both women are in good health and are doing great.

It's hard to believe that a part of me is growing inside of two remarkable women in India.  I've looked at the ultrasounds over and over again.  And I keep thinking to myself wow, what a miracle.   

Back Home

I got back from India almost a month ago.  I'm enjoying life as usual and with school back in session I'm keeping myself busy.  But it seems that no matter how busy I am, India is never far from my thoughts.  Whenever I have some down time I begin to think and hope and dream about the future.

I'm sure what everyone wants to know is what happened!  The two week wait ended some time ago.  

First, egg collection went very well.  Twenty-nine eggs were collected, twenty-four were completely mature and twenty one eggs fertilized.  On August 20th, 2012 four grade-one embryos (four and six cells) were successfully transferred into each beautiful surrogate and the two week wait began.  What were the results?    
    
After following quite a few surrogacy blogs over the past few years I had some definite expectations on what to expect at the end of my two week wait.  Basically I thought that I would get a message congratulating me because of a successful pregnancy/ beta HCG test, or consoling me because the test showed that there was no pregnancy.  Because there are two surrogates I knew there could be different variations of the e-mail.  Both surrogates could be pregnant, one could be pregnant, or the results could be a double negative with no pregnancy for either of the lovely surrogates.  

All in all I was hoping for at least one positive result.  SCI has a signature way of congratulating intended parents after they (the surrogate) first becomes pregnant.  They usually send a warm, happy and quite colorful e-mail congratulating the intended parent or parents when the beta HCG value indicates the beginning of a pregnancy. 

Well I didn't get one of those e-mails, but I didn't get a message consoling me for a negative pregnancy either.  And I am lucky to now be at the tail end of the new extended version of the two week wait:) 

Let me explain, starting with the following e-mail that I received at the end of my two week wait.

Dear Craig,

We hope you are doing fine.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done pregnancy tests for "M" & "N". 
 

Please find the attached reports for the same.

We would like to inform you that their beta HCG values are 42.61 & 41.54 respectively, which is weak positive.

In view of the same, we will repeat their beta HCG test within 48 hours.

As soon as we receive the reports, we will let you know immediately.

We wish you all the best for their repeated pregnancy test.

With Best Regards,

Lalit

SCI Healthcare
A-28, Kailash Colony
New Delhi- 110048
Ph: 91 11 41034631

      91 11 29232075


After I got that e-mail I did not feel the way I was supposed to.  I wasn't euphoric or sad.  My first thought was to get in touch with Dr. Shivani.  I decided first to surf the web and educate myself a little about repeated pregnancy tests, low beta HCG numbers and the chance of pregnancy.  I found that low numbers mean that that there may or may not be a pregnancy.  Also, one single low HCG value does not tell you much about the viability of a pregnancy.  Some normal pregnancies have low beta HCG numbers and still progress.  The most important thing, at this point, was for the low numbers to double by the time the test was repeated in 48 hours. 

After I finished reading I realized that there was no need to contact Dr. Shivani or the clinic.  The reason that they were repeating the test in 48 hours was clear.  I waited and hoped the numbers would rise.  I prepared myself for the worst, but hoped for the best.  Forty-eight hours later I got these results.


Dear Craig,

Greetings from SCI Healthcare !!!

We hope this e-mail finds you well.

We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have repeated the pregnancy tests for "M" & "N".

Please find attached herewith the report for the same.

We would like to inform you that their Beta HCG values have raised and reached to "M"- 93.40" & "N"-115.02 ".

In view of the same, we will now do their USG scans within 10 days to check the number of pregnancy sacs.

We will get back to you soon with further updates.

With Best Regards,

Lalit

SCI Healthcare
A-28, Kailash Colony
New Delhi- 110048
Ph: 91 11 41034631

      91 11 29232075

Needless to say I was very happy when I received the updated pregnancy tests.  Even though the numbers are still low, "M's" beta HCG value more than doubled and "N's" number almost tripled!  Dr. Shivani got in touch and said that the results were good because both had doubled.  She told me not to worry.  She said both surrogates were well, with a little nausea.  There was no bleeding or any other problems and basically that we should keep our fingers crossed.  

So even though I still don't have a confirmed pregnancy I am hopeful!  I'll find out if there is a pregnancy from the USG scans any time now.  If anyone out there has had a similar experience with a positive outcome please don't hesitate to drop me a line. 

India

I'm in India!  I arrived last Sunday and I've been here for five days.  I'm heading home in two more days, so I'll get home the day before school starts.  Running the trip so close to the beginning of a new school year was intentional.  It means that if everything works out as planned, and the baby or babies cooperate, my paternity leave from teaching will run right into next years Summer Vacation.  That means I'll have about fourteen weeks off instead of just six weeks.  I may have thought a bit too far into the future, but a guy can plan and think positively can't he?

Anyway, to get to India I took a short flight from Washington D.C. to Newark, N.J. (1:30) and then a direct flight from Newark to Delhi (14:15).  Both flights were delayed and so my flight arrived in India a couple of hours late.  Aside from that and getting frisked on the U.S. side when I was going through customs everything went smoothly.  I watched TV and a movie I wanted to see (Bully), ate some pretty good airplane food and slept.  And I was in India before I knew it.



                                
            

On the surrogacy front, I left my first genetic footprint at ISIS hospital on Monday (to be frozen).  Next, I went to meet Dr. Shivani at ISIS clinic.  The doctor told me what to expect and how things were run at SCI.  She listened to me and answered some more of my questions.  We talked for a while and ran out of time, so we planned to meet later in the week so that I could have a tour of the facilities.

                           I took this picture in the waiting room at ISIS Hospital.
                                           

Dr. Shivani and I at ISIS Clinic.

   

On Tuesday I met with the SCI lawyer to sign the legal agreement.  I also met my surrogates which was a wonderful experience.  The surrogates could change if their final lining check scan is not perfect for the transfer.  In the event this does happen there are about thirty other amazing women who are on the same schedule.  Dr. Shivani explained everything to me.  She chose both of my surrogates.  In the event that there needs to be a change I asked that the doctor make any decisions and then let me know.  Doing things this way made the most sense to me because the doctor has all the knowledge and skill, not me. 

On Thursday I went to ISIS hospital to leave frozen footprint two.  I also went back to ISIS clinic where Dr. Shivani gave me an amazing tour.  This could be an entire post in itself, but lets just say that I completely feel that I'm dealing with a very organized and highly efficient clinic.  It was a great experience for me and something that I won't soon forget.  

While I was at the clinic I asked Jyoti, Lalit and Kunwar if they minded 

 posing for a quick picture.

While I was in the waiting room I met two other single men who are trying to become dads.  One of them is just where I am in the process, while the other (Phil) is further along.  Phil sent his genetic footprint cryogenically, so he came to India to meet the surrogate who has been carrying his twins for twenty weeks.  It turns out that Phil and I were both staying at India Luxury Homes B & B. 

                       This is Phil and I in front of the fountain at the B & B.
                                     His twins are due in December.

 

                      We both took pictures on this elephant statue.

                            It seemed like a fun thing to do at the time:)     

                     The cook and two caretakers at the B & B strike a pose. 

                                       These are three good guys.


On Thursday I also went to look at some apartments.  I  know I'm thinking way ahead again, but it made sense to me.  I was very pleasantly surprised to meet one of my fellow bloggers (jacaranda2012.blogspot.in) and her beautiful new baby daughter at one of the apartments.  This was the perfect end to an incredible day in India.  

Saturday is scheduled to be the big day.  That's when the actual egg collection and fresh fertilization will take place.  The embryos will be transferred two to three days later into the surrogates.  Right around labor day I should know the results.  

It was great to finally meet Dr. Shivani and all of the people who work around her at Surrogacy Center India and Isis hospital.  I'm taking in all of the sights and sounds of India as well.  This is such an awesome experience.  It's hard to believe that I'm really here!!!